Ah Christmas time, my favourite time of the year. A break from school or work, hot sunny days, going to the beach, a swim in the ocean, the flip flop of a pair of thongs on baking concrete, and a BBQ in the backyard producing those enticing aromas.
It is a special time. We celebrate with our family, with friends, the birth of Christ, or a sense of hope and a time to just enjoy being together.
But what about the other side of connecting at Christmas time? I also appreciate that for some, Christmas time is a difficult time of the year. Conflicts in the family can strain the relationships and make communication very difficult. Who should make the first move? You might think “Why should I be the first one?” and “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
At this point it might help to put aside blame and thoughts about why things happened and think instead about these questions:
You could first ask yourself “How am I now benefitting from this situation?” “How is what I’m doing now helping me?” So hopefully this is getting you thinking about change.
If you’ve decided you don’t want to be where you are in your relationship, what can you do to improve it, however small? Even if it only takes you a tiny step closer to restoring your connection, isn’t it a step in the right direction? Perhaps if you are not ready for face-to-face words, then a short note on a Christmas card or attached to a small gift like a small box of chocolates, can say to the other person that you are trying to work things out. If it helps, you could talk to a friend about what you want to say in the note before you write it, or write it down on paper first. You could use humour too. What would make them laugh?