“Who you are, and who you are not.”
Hey guys, so I noticed the title of a song called ‘Blurred Lines’ on iTunes charts at the moment. Whilst I don’t love some of the messages in the song (it can be really degrading to women), the concept got me thinking. Some of the lyrics are “I hate these blurred lines” – I feel like heaps of people can relate to that feeling of not knowing where you stand with someone.
A couple of weeks ago Louisa was talking about how conflict can be uncomfortable but how it can actually bring growth. This week I’m talking about boundaries, and how it can help prevent conflict!
At Reconnect, we have to think about boundaries quite a bit. Boundaries with a caseworker and client, doctor, teacher, counsellor etc – all feel pretty normal. Do you have any boundaries that are more casual? If so, we’d love to hear of some examples! One example of a more informal boundary could be when someone chooses not to eat meat. That’s their personal choice, and they know where they stand.
We may not talk about it much, but we all bring expectations to our relationships. We generally have an idea in mind, about what’s cool and what’s not. How do you expect your girlfriend/boyfriend to act towards you? Your parents? Your best friend? Your teachers?
The song I mentioned before called ‘Blurred Lines’, talks about the tension in a dating relationship when one person doesn’t know what the other person is thinking. I don’t know about you, but talking about significant things to significant people can be really hard. It’s easier to avoid it. But what if it didn’t have to be awkward? Being upfront and honest in your relationships is really valuable, as it helps people know what to expect.
Maybe you’ve never really thought about it before? That’s cool, let’s think it through now. Knowing what’s negotiable and what’s not for you is really important. Have a think about your personal boundaries when it comes to;
-friendships -dating and sex
-drugs – family
Do people close to you know where you stand on these topics?
If it feels really hard to bring it up, here are some one liners I use when I’m stuck:
“Hey, can I be real?”
“Do you have a minute?”
“Can we talk?”
“I’ve been thinking…”
Let us know what personal boundaries are important to you!