Young people often ask me how they can get their parents to trust them more. Here are 5 great tips to improving trust with your parents.
1) Tell your parents the truth – If you’re going out to a party, telling your parents where you are really going, is the best way to earn your parents trust. You may be feeling nervous or scared with the thought that they may not let you go, but keep in mind the consequences that could occur if you don’t tell them the truth. We know parents can be overprotective and fearful, but once the trust has been rebuilt, they will feel confident knowing you will keep yourself safe.
2) Respect your parents – This can be hard if your parents don’t treat you with respect, but talking to them respectfully could make life a little easier. In fact, you can teach them to be assertive and polite through your behaviour. This will hopefully help them to change their attitude towards you, and see you for who you really are. For example, if your parents bring up the past, speak to them calmly, and let them know that bringing up the past is hurtful, and you are learning new ways of dealing with situations, and that you need some time to work towards these skills. You might want to practice this in the mirror a few times before saying it in front of them, these skills takes time to develop. But give yourself the chance to be heard.
3) Be honest with yourself – You will find that this will help you to be honest with others. You will have more rewarding relationships with your parents, girlfriend or boyfriend; and better employment prospects. This can also help improve self-esteem and confidence, which will help you to see and move towards awesome opportunities. This can help reassure your parents by showing them that you take responsibility for your own life.
4) Take responsibility for your choices –When you make decisions make sure you are making choices for the future. Whether it’s behaving or talking in a certain way, or starting a new job, all of these choices are stepping stones towards creating your life. It can be helpful to write down a list of short term and long term goals to keep focused. Cutting out pictures of what you want in your life, and hanging them up in your room, can help you decide what’s important to you. Your parents will be more willing to trust you if they can see you have a plan for your life.
5) Quality Time – Sometimes it’s important to spend quality time with one another, even when there is still tension between you and your parents. Try and spend some quality time together such as going swimming, watching a DVD, playing a game or just talk about some of the positive memories you both have over a coffee. This can bring some joy back into the relationship, which are key ingredients to feeling safe and trust again.
Quote for the Month: I never think or worry about the future; it comes every hour and every day. What I think about is making the present better than yesterday for the present controls the future.”
Author Unknown — Submitted by Desmond O., Age 16 — Nigeria